Two memory palaces

Nine Muses Memory palace:

C: In the living room sitting on the beige loveseat, a ripe cantaloupe is calling her mom on the phone while reading Homer: Calliope, epic poetry.

CUTE: Leaning up against the counter in the kitchen, Cleopatra is reading a textbook opened to a page about mummies: Clio, history. Next to her, Urania is leaning out the kitchen window with a telescope, examining Uranus in the night sky: Urania, astronomy. In the opposite corner by the oil and wine rack, Terpsichore is twirling and gyrating in a kiddie pool of turpentine and rubber ducks: Terpsichore, dance. Sitting on the floor next to the kiddie pool, Euterpe is reciting the lyrics to her favorite song “Creep” by Nirvana, but she keeps replacing the word creep with the word twerp: Euterpe, lyric poetry.

TEMP: In the dining room sitting in my chair, Thalia has set her book on Thailand aside and is laughing at a Calvin and Hobbes strip while wearing a jester hat with jingling bells: Thalia, comedy. Erato is sitting at the bottom of the stairs reading the inside of a U2 vinyl cover, “One”: Erato, love poetry. In the middle of the stairs, Melpomene is crying because her parrot deserted her shoulder in favor of her more virtuous sister: Melpomene, tragedy. At the top of the stairs, Polyhymnia is reciting her hymns with a parrot on her shoulder interrupting (Polly want a cracker?): Polyhymnia, hymns.

Twelve brothers/tribes of Israel:

Directly before the gate to our forest by the basketball hoop, a soggy reuben sandwich is being eaten by Simon Cowell, wearing levis, atop an ox. Juda is wearing a cowardly lion suit and chasing him away from the rest of the group. By the hay shed, Zebulan is blasting off in a spaceship. Issachar’s ass gets spooked by the spaceship and runs into Dan’s serpent and tramples him. “Oh my Gad you trampled him!” Dan screams, but Asher, his rich friend, offers to buy him another one. Naphtali exclaims that a deer makes a much better pet, but Joseph gets cross and reminds him that Naphtali’s deer ate all the fruit from his fruitful bough. Meanwhile, the full moon rises over the mountains and Benjamin turns into a werewolf and jumps Naphtali’s deer.